Tad From Above
by DancingCritic
Summary: What was it like for Tad after he died? Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie/ After Ever After
1. Chapter 1

"_**After Ever After**__**" FanFiction**_**: Tad from Above**

**Chapter One: A Description of Heaven**

_For Katie, because she asked_

_**Disclaimer: I am not Jordan Sonnenblick and therefore do not own "**__**After Ever After**__**" or any of his other work. Unfortunately.**_

My favorite thing to do these days is watch Lindsey and Jeff. I know it is an invasion of their private lives, but come on! What else is there to do up here? It's been 50 Earth Years since I died, and I have pretty much learned everything there is to know about heaven: it's your typical paradise in the clouds. On your way, there are pretty flight attendants who pass out peanuts and chocolates, courtesy of the Big One. Angels sit on the wings of the Pegasus that takes you up. They play sappy harp music and coo at you as if you were a baby or a puppy (mind you, some of us were). Everyone (somehow) speaks the same language (Swahili, in case you were wondering), and you just float around wherever you want to go. The movie choices range from oldies to horror to foreign mafia films. Imagine every movie ever created translated into Swahili and burned to HVD (Heavenly Video Device) and you have our choices.

Once you have gotten to the main level, you are given a ticket to your designated meeting spot (that's where you reunite with your ancestors and friends who died before you did). Tears and hugs and kisses from great aunts you never even knew existed ensue. After your Reuniting, you are toured around six of the seven layers (seven is saved exclusively for angels and the Big One) by your Guardian Angel (mine's Bill). Then you are taken to your housing unit (on level 2, 4, 5, or 6). Basically, you get a medium sized bare room. (Eating and, um, "bodily functions" are not necessary in heaven; we're dead anyway.) You get to choose your entire décor from an endless catalogue, courtesy of the Big One (mine's green, modern, and thoroughly _awesome_). Then you spent the rest of your Pension (Pension is the time you spend learning about life, death, and the Big One before you are promoted to angel) visiting with your dead buddies and lounging in one of the many cafés or diners set along level 3.

When your Pension's up (as mine almost is), you are sent to level seven to be gifted your wings by the Big One. On Earth, a bell rings, and you are an Angel (yeah, I know. Really cliché, but it works). After your Angliarchy (time you spend as an Angel), you are, once again, sent to level seven to be graced as Guardian Angel by the Big One. You choose an unborn soul, human or animal, to Guard, and that is your life (excuse me, death) until they die, and then you show them around and are their mentor for their Pension. Once they have been promoted to Angel, you are promoted to Watcher (Watchers look over pieces of the world, like a mountain or body of water). Watcher lasts for approximately 100 Earth Years, then you achieve Blessed. Blessed is second highest position (under the Big One, obviously), and is something all Dead can't wait to be. Blessed chooses a collective idea to watch over (for example bike racing or Buddhism or ballet or exploration of the Poles of Earth). Blessed ranges from 500 to 1,000 Earth Years, depending on what you do to your idea. After Blessed comes the end: Spirit. Spirit is when your soul is reborn and reused (reduce, reuse, recycle, rethink!) and you are born a human (or animal) again.

_To be continued with info on Jeff and Lindsey and people down on Earth…_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: What?

Lindsey and Jeff were married exactly 14 Earth Years after I died. Jeff lit a candle in my honor right before the ceremony. He cried. It wasn't the first time I had seen him cry. I mean, even when I was alive, he wasn't exactly the driest eye in the world. I'm talking about after I died. If you leave out the follow-up to my dying, I can name at least ten: Steven officially moving back to the US, Steven and Annette's wedding, Miss Palma's retirement, this one time some dog across the street ate this poor defenseless bird and left the remains on the manhole cover (don't ask), Lindsey breaking up with him, Lindsey asking him out again, getting accepted to three Ivy Leagues, graduation, going to college, proposing to Lindsey (after the Kay Jewelers moment, I backed out- who knows where that went…). Anyway, I have seen my share of male tear moments.

Jeff wanted to have the wedding on the anniversary of my death, because he thought that I would have wanted it that way. Guess what? I did. I was so happy to be remembered on such a joyful day, I cried in my room after (quite literally, Tears in Heaven, like the Eric Clapton song I gave Jeff the day I died-you know, _Would you know my name…_).

Since they got married, Jeff and Lindsey have done a lot more talking about me. Yes, me. They would consider what I would have wanted, since I (kinda) got them together in the first place. When they were talking about names for their first baby (I know, scary), they thought that I would have liked it to be named after me (if it was a boy. Duh). Well guess what? Thaddeus Steven Alper was born _exactly_ 16 Earth Years after my death (parents' anniversary, too). Seeing the joy on Jeff's face when he first held Tad was so heart-warming that I cried. Again. (I have turned into such a crybaby since I died.)

Exactly (yes, again my death day) two Earth Years later, Annette Palma Alper was born. By then, I had adjusted completely to life as a dead dude. And the greatest part was that it was like I had never left. I mean, Jeff knew I was gone, but he hadn't lost his strength or courage. I think he sensed my presence a lot (I mean, when I was with him).

But then, three years after Annette P. Alper was born, Miss Palma, our beloved English teacher passed away. On the _same day that I had died_. I was called by Bill (my Guardian, remember) to Reuniting Room 78,9043B to meet with Miss Palma. She had had a car accident, and on Earth had been very…tangled. But up here, she looked as young and vibrant as ever. The weirdest part was that she kept correcting people's Swahili grammar (yeah…she seems to know every rule in every language now. It's creepy.). And she _did _know my name when she saw me (in Heaven). Jeff and Lindsey both were devastated. I, on the other hand, was elated to finally have someone I knew from Life in Heaven with me.

But then the most unusual thing happened. Yes. After all these weird Heavenly facts I've been telling you, it gets stranger. Miss Palma's Guardian _took her to see the Big One_. That, my friend, is something no Guardian has ever (I repeat, EVER) done that before. And that's saying something.

_TBC…_

**Disclaimer: I still am not Jordan Sonnenblick and still do not own Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. If I were somehow Mr. Sonnenblick, I would be rolling in my piles of money in my awesome bathtub. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Secrets

I'd like to reiterate that the Big One never sees anyone (a-nee-one!) unless it is a dire, dire, dire emergency. So when Fred (Miss P's Guardian) took her to the Big One, you can imagine the incredible shock we all must have felt. Was she in trouble? Had there been a mistake? Was she on the wrong Pegasus and should have been sent to Purgatory on camelback? Was she on the Underworld waiting list? These questions (and many more) rushed through my Dead brain.

We all had to wait for what seemed like forever (and it could have been, actually, cause up here, time is indefinite) until Miss Palma came back to talk to us. She was beaming and looked as radiant as ever. She looked over all of us (and there were a lot of us in that particular Reuniting Room) as if she were our queen and we were her little munchkins. She reminded me of Glinda the Good Witch from Wizard of Oz (in the Swahili version, she's called "Galindy"). I was almost (but not quite) sweating with anticipation of the words I knew she was about to say. (Wait a minute- I don't think Dead people can sweat… I'll have to ask Bill…) And then Miss Palma opened her mouth.

"Thank you all for coming to visit me on my first Earth Day here. I would like to thank each and every one of you who has made this day special. You may go now." She nodded to everyone as they filed out past her. I was almost out, still dying (rather, living) to know what her meeting with the Big One was all about.

"Unless your name is Thaddeus." Miss Palma stopped me in my tracks (well, I was floating, but still). I hovered beside her until everyone had left, including our Guardians. Wow. This was going to be personal. Oh no. Maybe I had forgotten to turn in my homework before I died. Oh boy, was I ever in for-

"Tad, don't worry! Everything's fine. In fact, I'd say everything's spectacular!" She was so enthusiastic, I thought for a moment she was talking to someone behind me. But no, just me here. With my former English teacher. In Heaven. Nothing strange about that.

"Tad, the Big One has informed me about your good status up here." I nodded. "Well, the Big One would like me to personally tell you that you have been chosen for a special mission. Have you heard of that Christmas story, _It's a Wonderful Life_? You know, the one with Clarence and the bells and wings and being thankful for what you have?"

"Yeah, Miss Palma. I've seen it." In Swahili.

"Tad, the Big One would like to experiment with actually sending someone down in order to help a few select people see the bright side of things again. It turns out, Jeff has been a bit depressed lately." I had noticed. He wasn't as excited about getting up to go to work (at the hospital), and his movements did seem a little bit more sleepy.

"The Big One wants to send you down to Jeff on a secret mission. The Big One thinks you'd be the best choice for him." Wow. So I was now a super-secret spy mission Dead guy who was about to talk to my best friend for the first time since I died. My heart was pounding a bit faster now.

"And Tad," Miss Palma continued, "the Big One is considering bringing you back to Life in order to do that."

_Cliffhanger! TBC…soon, I hope_

_Ps. I still am not Mr. Sonnenblick and still do not own any rights to Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. Drat._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Second Chances

**Disclaimer: Still not Jordan Sonnenblick. Sad Face. Boo-hoo.**

Wow. I was being given a second chance at life. Not just Life in general (that happens anyway, after Spirit). No, I was being given a second chance at the life I could have had if I had not relapsed. _I was getting my old life back. And I was already dead._ Shocking.

At that point, Miss Palma was smiling, anticipating a response from me. I was speechless. (quite literally, actually…I couldn't really make any noise that wasn't Swahili anymore- downer of being Dead). Miss Palma nodded sympathetically.

"Tad, I know this is really shocking. It's a beautiful concept… Maybe you could do a journal for me…" She shook her head, not really meaning it. I laughed, finally able to make an audible noise (my head was already full of strange, unrelated thoughts, like why cows eat grass…).

"I…I…I…" I stuttered. I wanted to say so many things right then, but I couldn't manage. I was not prepared for this. I was never prepared for this. Cancer, yes. Death, yes. Tears, yes. But this? Never in a million years!

Miss Palma shook her head and took me by the elbow. She lead me to the door.

"Tad, you're going to see Him. He'll tell you the game plan. We need to keep Jeff alive. It's important for Lindsey and the kids. It's all part of His plan. Come on."

"Whose plan, Miss Palma?" I had found my voice. She was so serious now, I wasn't sure how to say that last sentence (in case you didn't know, I am _not_ a people person. I have issues communicating sometimes).

"The Big One's plan, Tad. You're going to see the Big One."

_Sorry so short! TBC very soon…_

_Ps. Still not JS. Wah._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: The Game Plan

**Author's Note: STILL NOT JORDAN SONNENBLICK. If I were, I would still be rolling in my heaps of money in my luxurious bathtub. In my mansion home in the countryside of England. Living with my Great- Aunt Beatrice. **

The Big One is just what his name implies. BIG. Very, very BIG. Like, Empire State Building BIG. Very BIG. Oh, and did I mention, BIG!

Anyway, the Big One wanted to let me in on the Game Plan for this operation (Operation J. Alper). He sent me back to my housing unit with this paper explaining everything.

_For Agent Thaddeus:_

_ Your mission is to enlighten Jeffrey Alper's lookout on his current life. Do everything you can to make him happy again, but under NO circumstance are you to tell him of your new purpose on Earth. You are to be given a disguise by your Guardian, Bill, prior to your departure for Life. Here is the order of execution for your preparations: _

_Prepare your disguise._

_Achieve you bearings as a living being._

_Find Jeffrey Alper._

_Communicate with him for as long as necessary._

_Return to Heaven._

_Thank you for your participation in this innovative and new experiment._

_The Big One_

Wow. It was so… open-ended. I don't particularly like open-ended things. They unsettle me. I was still in total and complete shock. I was being given a second chance. A freaking second chance. You don't get those very often. In fact, once you're dead, you don't ever get a second chance at life. Unless you're me. Of course. (cause I am just that cool-like) Actually, things like these seem to happen to me almost too often. I have probably overridden my chances by now. I don't _really_ deserve this… Do I?

_Another shortie..sorry…TBC…of course_

_Thank you for tuning in to Tad From Above, a Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie/ After Ever After/ Jordan Sonnenblick FanFiction presented to you by _**MissMarzipan**


End file.
